yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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