So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
