i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
