soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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