I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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