idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
