well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
