Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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