R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
