do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
babies were throwing up all over the place
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
