if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i would punch a child for taco bell
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
