I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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