We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
