STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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