I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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