I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
