i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
