How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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