That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
this hospital has no fireball
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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