He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
