she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
