you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
