I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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