I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
