I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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