Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
