Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
third nipple confirmed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
