You just made me feel so damn special
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
