member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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