Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
don't judge my taste in strippers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
