this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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