to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
