Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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