I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
