You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
