At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
