remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
