Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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