stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
