I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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