Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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