This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
