dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
