you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
