Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
