i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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