just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
