you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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