but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
