you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
