I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
